Tok 3 Tok 4

Lin Peh Migrating

2009-02-06T16:25:00.003+08:00

Dear all,

Lin Peh will be migrating to Somalia very soon. Because their Internationally fehmes pirates gaoment damn KENG !

Have fun. Cheers !

What A Mess !

2009-02-05T20:09:00.001+08:00

Gong Xi Gong Xi

2009-01-20T17:26:00.002+08:00

Persatuan President

2009-01-08T19:00:00.003+08:00

Happy Nude Year 2009

2008-12-30T11:51:00.003+08:00

Subprime Crisis - Explained by Lin Peh

2008-10-17T15:38:00.001+08:00

Preface: Subprime Loan

In American, just like all the normal human being in the world, when they make any major purchases, they will always ask bank for loan. However, the sorhai american company always like to retrench people and thus the people there the income not very steady one. In Malaysia, when your income not steady you will loan money from AhLoong instead of BANK. But in america, their FBI very power so there is no Ahloong, instead their bank will loan money to all these not steady income people and this type of loan is called Subprime Loan.

Chapter One: How it started

About 10 years ago, all the commercial banks in American were promoting their loan with advertisement like

Since most Ang Mor are only "ada gaya" and "hao-lian" type of people, the bankers came out with special packages for these pokkai fellas. So, Ads like these were flying everywhere:

"No repayment for first 2 years"

"Want to be rich ? Buy Property!"

"Money no enough? Borrow from me!"

"Zero down payment"

"Low rate guaranteed"

Wah ! These packages are damn fierce wan! It basically tell people don't worry for the about repaying the loan because you may strike lottery before payment is due! In the event you don't strike lottery, you can still sell the house that you bought at higher price and pay everything and keep the gain!

Because of packages like this, many American (especially those who think if Black and become president of USA everything is possible) started to borrow money and buy house as INVESTMENT !

So, the banks business become very good, the accounts all look damn solid and all the bankers got huge bonus! But now....got one problem...money all loan out but who can guarantee that these sorhais will be able to pay back when time comes ?

Chapter Two: Investment Banks Also Want

After collecting his huge bonus, the CEOs of the commercial banks also need to do more creative works or else they will be fired soon. So, he went to see the bigger brother - Investment Bank!

For those of you who don't know, the Investment Bank in US is damn power wan ! Their name also damn solid like Morgan Stanley, Lehman brothers, Goldman Sachs. The commercial bank CEOs objective is very simple, they want the Investment Bank to share share and join with them to play the game of Subprime Loan!

Even though the Investment Bank name power, their top management are also same like us eat full nothing to do one. So, they get all those economists, professors, even Nobel prize winners and together go to starbucks drink coffee and blow water.

After many rounds of talking cock, they concluded that these subprime loan is very risky but very exciting and profitable! Something like bank robbery! As a greedy bunch of motherfuckers working for greedy Investment Banks, they decided not to miss this great opportunity so, the Investment Banks are in !

Chapter Three: How The Investment Banks Play

Since Investment Banks are so power and big! They also decided to play it BIG! So, in order for them to raise all the fund to lend it out to those pokkai house owner, they issued something call CDO (Collateralized Debt Obligation). In line with the reputation of Investment Banks, the name CDO also power meaning no one understand! But Lin Peh tell you la, these CDO is actually something like Investment Banks borrow money from the some sorhais but the loan is guaranteed by those pokkai house owner's loan and their fucked up "very expensive" house. So, where to find such sorhai ?

Chapter Four: Hedge Fund is the Real Sorhai?

In order to find the sorhais who are willing to put out such big sum of money for this type loan, the Investment Bankers did a lot of road show and even engage professionals to make their powerpoint presentation look solid.

After that, they invited groups and groups of sorhais to come listen to them talk cock, drink wine and see their powerpoint. When the powerpoint presentation said that the average return on CDO is approximately 12%, the saliva of the Hedge Fund managers started to drool, so they decided to put their money in and play the game also!

Before you jump into the conclusion that hedge fund are the sorhai, let's look at how the hedge fund got so much money....

The basic job function of hedge fund managers are killing each other at wall street without seeing any blood! They are the one who go around the world, screw peoples currency, stock markets, commodities so the CDO is only a small case la !

The hedge fund managers went around the world and look for low interest loan. For example, Japan interest rate has been very low since the day Karaoke machinese was invented. So, the hedge fund went to Japan and borrow at 1.5% which means, they just have to sign a few signatures, get the money from Japanese and then give to the investment banks and they can sit home masturbate and enjoy a net return of 10% without doing anything. With deal like that, the more they borrow, the more their return la ! Do you still call them sorhai?

Chapter Five: Now, Everyone Can Be Rich!?

So, all the deals are now in place and the cash started to flow!

Strange thing does happen when you have such a huge system running - from the year 2001 to 2006, the real estate market in US was at a super boom ! Everyone was buying houses and make a lot of money ! So, they were right about becoming a real estate tycoon without having to come out with a single cent ! So, from house owners to banks to investment banks to hedge fund all making money ! Damn solid!

However, the investment bankers were not too happy when they see the hedge fund was making so much money from the CDO without having to do any donkey work. So, they got jealous and they themselves also invest in CDO ! It is something like Ahloong themselves go borrow from another Ah Loong !

When that happened, the hedge fund managers see that the CDO was in such hot demand, they also became greedy and they pledge the CDO to banks so they can borrow more money to invest in more CDO and everyone just become richer and richer!

Chapter Six: Let's Insured Everything!

When the Investment Bankers see that the CDOs merry-go-round becoming so big round just like the Eye On Malaysia like that, they also got panic already. So, to play safe, they call the insurance company and tell the insurance company that they want to buy insurance for their CDOs!

Even though the insurance companies are generally greedy motherfuckers, they also not sorhai one. They study the track record of the CDOs and they charge the Investment Banks a heavy premium for it and give this type of policy an even more power name called Credit Default Swap (CDS)!

Since the hosuing market was ok, and everyone was still enjoying huge profit, the Insurance Companies too made very good money from these CDS in the last few years because they just sit there and collect premium without paying out anything!

That's WIN WIN SITUATION - just like what your teacher taught you in school !

Chapter Seven: Not The End Of Story

As usual, eveything that can generate income, people on the the wall street will create a unit trust fund for it. So, over the last few years, Many Unit Trust Fund that invest in CDS were created. However, in order to generate good sales for these Trust, these unit trusts must get good rating from the rating agency.

So, the people on wall street used their creativity to 100% and came out with a brand new idea - Assuming the companies already made $80 Billion in the CDS over the years, they will allocate a portion of it lets say $10 Billion to secured the Unit Trust Fund. Using the $10 Billion as 10% securities, the Fund will sell to the public $100 Billion of the Unit Trust.

That means, if the Fund lost money, the first 10% ($10 Billion) of the loses will be covered by the Insurance. But when it makes money, everything belongs to you! Good Deal or not? Therefore, the rating agency also give the fund AAA (highest) rating ! Since the deal is so good and with AAA rating somemore, everyone also bought! Old man bought! Young man bought! Pension fund bought! Education fund Bought! It was such good business, the Unit Trust decided to issue more Units to be sold ! However, the problem is they never increase the $100 Billion securities! which also means the "reserve" for the losses has decrease from its original 10% to god knows what.

Chapter Eight: No Light At The End Of Tunnel

Just like Old chinese proverb said "Everything You Ate You Have To Vomit Out". The good time came to a stop by end of the year 2006 when the housing prices started to come down, people who bought houses found out there are no more buyers for the houses so they just defaulted on the loan and said FUCK IT !

The Bank try to lelong out those houses but could not find buyer. Citibank, Bank of America all reported huge loses. So, the bank all said FUCK IT !

Since Investment Banks has even bigger stake than the commercial banks in these loans, Morgan Stanley, Lehman Brothers all reported even bigger losses. So, the Investment Banks also said FUCK IT !

When the Hedge Fund saw all the other fellas all fucked, they also cannot escape and Hedge Fund Stake is even bigger! So, Hedge Fund said FUCK IT !

And of course, all the AAA rating Unit Trusts FUCKED !

Now, Pension Fund FUCKED! Education Fund FUCKED! The share market FUCKED! USA FUCKED! Europe Fucked! Japan FUCKED! Australia FUCKED! The Whole World FUCKED ! Bush FUCKED! McCain FUCKED! Obama FUCKED, But......

"US crisis won't affect Malaysia's plan"
Because....

Finance Minister Najib said the economy's fundamentals remained strong, with international reserves at a high of RM404.4 billion and non-performing loans (NPL) in the banking sector declining since 2003 to a present 2.5 per cent.

Chinese Dairy Products Ban ! (Update)

2008-09-23T16:08:00.004+08:00

Due to the melamine-tainted dairy products from China many countries as far as Africa have stopped importing Chinese dairy products.

So, to follow the trend, Malaysia have also banned Chinese dairy imports including those dairy products from Piaomei !

Update (25 September 2008)

Dutch Lady confirmed safe !

Flag Upside Down

2008-09-18T10:38:00.004+08:00

KOTA BARU, Sept 17 –Police today arrested blogger Syed Azidi Syed Aziz or better known as Kickdefella under the Sedition Act, Kelantan executive councillor Datuk Husam Musa said.

Husam told reporters at the Kota Baru district police headquarters that Syed Azidi was picked up over an article he had written. Syed Azidi, who runs the blog Kickdefella, had once suggested that the Malaysian flag be flown upside down during the celebrations marking the nation's independence anniversary.

Ladies and genitalmen, please la.... Don't simply upside down your country's flag. Except for JAPANESE !

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival

2008-09-13T11:04:00.002+08:00

From Wikipedia:

According to a widespread folk tale (not necessarily supported by historical records), the Mid-Autumn Festival commemorates an uprising in China against the Mongol rulers of the Yuan Dynasty (1280–1368) in the 14th century. As group gatherings were banned, it was impossible to make plans for a rebellion.

Noting that the Mongols did not eat mooncakes, Liu Bowen (劉伯溫) of Zhejiang Province, advisor to the Chinese rebel leader Zhu Yuanzhang, came up with the idea of timing the rebellion to coincide with the Mid-Autumn Festival. He sought permission to distribute thousands of moon cakes to the Chinese residents in the city to bless the longevity of the Mongol emperor. Inside each cake, however, was inserted a piece of paper with the message: "Kill the Mongols on the 15th day of the 8th Moon" (八月十五殺韃子).

On the night of the Moon Festival, the rebels successfully attacked and overthrew the government. What followed was the establishment of the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644), under Zhu. Henceforth, the Mid-Autumn Festival was celebrated with moon cakes on a national level.

No Need Apologise la

2008-09-09T12:10:00.005+08:00

Sorhai ! If you everyday talk about freedom of speech ! You have to accept the FREEDOM OF SPEECH ! So, so ahead, no need apologise wan la !

If you can't accept, you go Taiwan look for Piaomei lor !

BREAKING NEWS! Olympic Torch-Lighting Ceremony Video - LEAKED !

2008-08-07T15:15:00.005+08:00

BREAKING NEWS

Lin Peh just got the first hand video of the Olympic Torch-Lighting ceremony. Here it is:

Security Check

2008-07-10T16:00:00.003+08:00

What do they check at security checpoint ?

Check For Metal Items

Check For Explosive

Check For Weapon

At the Parliment of Malaysia

MALAYSIA BOLEH

Rukunegara

2008-07-08T11:55:00.002+08:00

Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi labelled as treachery the deliberate attempts to create perceptions of uneasiness and distrust in the people via the Internet and SMS with blatant disregard for the principles of the Rukunegara. (NST)

So, just in case you don't know anything about Rukunnegara, today Lin Peh will teach you one by one:

1.KEPERCAYAAN KEPADA TUHAN
(BELIEF IN GOD)

This one is easy, as long as you believe that only GOD can save this country, you basically believe in GOD and thus you pass rule No.1.

Also, if you orgasm time also got scream "God, God, Ooooo...my God...". Lin Peh think can also la.

2.KESETIAAN KEPADA RAJA DAN NEGARA
(LOYALTY TO KING AND COUNTRY)

This one you know that I know that you know that we all also know that don't simply say say. Or else, kena charged wan.

3.KELUHURAN PERLEMBAGAAN
(THE SUPREMACY OF THE CONSTITUTION)

This one is difficult a bit because the school also never tell what is inside the constitution. Everyone in the country including the politicians also don't quite understand the constitution.

The politicsians can one day tell us that all RAKYAT got equal right under the constitution, but next day they will say constitution give BUMI more right. So damn confused!

Therefore, Lin Peh sure PM won't get angry also if you don't follow this rule.

4.KEDAULATAN UNDANG-UNDANG
(THE RULE OF LAW)

This one easy la. As long as you no catch by police you are considered as a law obbeying good fella. You may have sodomised peeple, bomb kao peeple, bribe kao peeple but as long as you no kena caught by police, you are ok.

So, if you can read this, you basically pass this rule already. But if you are reading this from prison...sorry lor.

5.KESOPANAN DAN KESUSILAAN (COURTESY AND MORALITY)
This last RULE is basically put in as the miscellaneous rule which cover whatever issues missed by rule No 1 to No.4. Therefore, not very important one.

With the above explanation, Lin Peh hope you don't treachery anymore ;-)

By the way, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi also said:
I want to tell the blogs to stop all this. They are also responsible for what has happened. The best thing they could do is to stop.

Ok. STOP!

Samy at The Club

2008-07-01T11:59:00.006+08:00

After Samy got thrashed in the Malaysian Genital Erection, he spent most of his time at a club where most of the Seniors & Retirees hang around.

One day, his old buddy, Liong Sick, saw him there so they both greeted each other and started bullshiting like the good old days.

"Hi Samy, how do you like this place?" asks Liong Sick.

"This place is great, I really love it. It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says Samy.

"Really ah ? Thats good to know because, you know la, you were not so popular when you were a minister"

"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat each other here"

Samy says with a big smile.

"There's a retired policeman -- he's 85 years old.
He hasn't been in the force for 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Tuan'!"

"There is a former judge here -- he's 95 years old.
He hasn't been on the bench in 40 years and everyone still calls him 'Your honour'!"

"And there's a physician here -- 90 years old.
He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!"

"And what about you" - asks Liong Sick.

"And me.., I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me "The fucking Indian!"

Gaomen Do Magic Show

2008-06-17T09:38:00.002+08:00

IN THE YEAR
2006
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THE GAOMENT INCREASED THE FUEL PRICE
FROM RM1.62 TO 1.92
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DPM Najib said

"The revenue saved from the subsidy will be deposited into a trust fund to be set up. The fund will be used to improve the public transportation system in the country," You can see the full news report at the bernama website HERE !!

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TWO YEAR LATER
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IN THE YEAR 2008
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GAOMENT INCREASED THE FUEL PRICE
FROM RM1.92 to RM2.70 !!!!!
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Second Finance Minister Tan Sri Nor Mohamed Yakcop said

“Malaysians can certainly look forward to better public transport. This will be a major focus of next year’s Budget, which we are currently preparing,” he told reporters after attending a closed-door 2009 Budget Consultation Dialogue with backbenchers here yesterday. You can see the full report HERE!!!!

Rojak New Invention

2008-06-11T15:45:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, Rojak called and told Lin Peh that he found a way to counter the petrol hike already. He said he just invented a new type of vehicle; very save petrol wan. Somemore he said his vehicle is entitle to claim the RM625 subsidies from the gaoment because the pahwer is lower than 2000 sisi.

Today, fucker sent me the picture of his proud invention:

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New Petrol Price

2008-06-04T14:50:00.003+08:00

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Boleh Goes To Court

2008-05-27T20:07:00.003+08:00

Boleh Only Good At Simply Tok
Boleh Only Good At Toking Cock
Boleh Took The Neighbour Go To Court
Neighbour Got The Island Boleh Got The Rock

Boleh Blame The Lawyer Not Prepared
Because Lingam Was Not Even There
Boleh Blame The Court Not Fair
Because Fairuz Was Not Sitting There

Lin Peh also Quit

2008-05-23T15:38:00.001+08:00

In response to the recent call by the former PM to quit UMNO, Lin Peh will also quit la. However, since Lin Peh is not UMNO member, the best Lin Peh can do is to quit all the memberships Lin Peh has. So, the list of membership are as follows:

This one must quit because the gift not very nice. Want to claim one bottle of mineral water also must wait 2 years like that.

This one worse ! Must pay RM10 somemore and only get small french fries. Learn the sorhai "2 all beef patties.." can get FREE Big Mac. Easier.

This one really has to quit. Because Lin Peh don't know why got this card in the first place.

This one actually quite good one cause they offer piaomei at special discount rate when you sing song with the piaomei at KTV. You sing the song with the KTV mic while the piaomei sing song with your mic ;-) Really SONG ! But recently, they running out of new piaomei stock so Lin Peh quit also la. LIN PEH WILL REJOIN WHEN GOT NEW PIAOMEI!

Mahai...this one you see it yourself and you know why Lin Peh must quit la.

Olin Eye Test

2008-05-21T16:15:00.002+08:00

Here is the Eye Test that you will need to go thru after using the OLIN product for more than 3 months.

Please read the following text:

1. If you able to read all the text - You are still healthy. Everything OK.

2. If you can't read, it may be due to one or more of the follwoing reasons:

A) You fucked up already
B) You colour blind
C) You are just blind
D) You never study Engrand

Rojak Punya Mother

2008-05-08T10:15:00.000+08:00

Rojak ! You mother damn HOT la!

Mahai....No Rice Liao

2008-05-06T10:49:00.002+08:00

Recently whole world complain say no rice liao because gaoment tell people go work IT so the plan now backfired. The gaoment now realize IT cannot grow rice one, they only know how to make rice cooker. Thats also the reason why the rice cooker getting cheaper everyday because NO RICE LIAO! When you don't have rice, you buy nice nice rice cooker for fuck meh?

Anyway, today Lin Peh want to give the gaoment some advice on how to solve this no rice problem:

1. Stop feeding those criminals in prison. Give each of them a knife and let them eat each other. (Like that also solve the prison overcrowded problem)

2. Ban people from Tambah Nasi when eat the Char Siew Fan. (I know this one, my fei hai friend will damn tulan but Lin peh say this one on purpose to make him tulan wan)

3. Tell people don't go eat Nasi Kandar (I think this one already on..hehe)

4. Go to Makam Mahsuri there and get unlimited supply of rice. (If you don't understand this one, please go visit Pulau Longkangwi)

5. Lastly....MAHAI...EAT MEE LA!

Baggage Handling Charge - What's Next ?

2008-04-24T10:52:00.009+08:00

According to the STAR: AirAsia passengers will have to pay for each checked in baggage from April 21. It will cost them RM5 to check in the baggage at the airport but just RM3 if the arrangement is made online.

So...what's next ?

Now, Everybody Kena Fucked ! ;-)

Song For Edison And His Piaomeis

2008-04-20T15:46:00.000+08:00

Enjoy ;-)

Come on la...Write la !

2008-04-15T11:03:00.003+08:00

After the recent general erection,
Many new blogs started by politicians,
Especially by those who were beaten by the oppositions.

Some write about the nation,
Some write about their party erection,
But all also never go thru blogging education,
Thats why their blog get no visitation.

Today Lin Peh want to give them some recommendations,
About good topics that will rock the nation.

Here it goes....

Write la about racial discrimination!
About the difference between an Indon and an Indian.

Write la about corruption!
About how to rebrand the corruptions by calling it commisions;

Write la about abortion!
About where to get one when you in a panic situation;

Write la about construction
About how to make even small projects cost billions;

Lastly...remember to...

Write la about sex education!
About how the Rakyat got fucked by you in different positions!

With the above solutions,
Lin Peh sure your blog will contribute to the nation,
A nation for the entire populations,
Who share the same vision and destination,

Which is...
TO HELL WITH OUR EDUCATION !

Mr. Ken Lee, Where Are You?

2008-04-05T10:12:00.002+08:00

Dear Mr. Ken Lee,

Someone looking for you.

Where the fuck are you ? ;-)

This One Formula What ?

2008-04-03T17:19:00.003+08:00

Max Mosely, president of the Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA) in charge of Formula 1 got a new Formula Duno what.

Lin Peh see liao also "WAAAAAHHHHH!!!". You say pahwer or not leh ?

Tech Tags: Max+Mosely Sex Scandal

Taste of Cum

2008-04-01T09:58:00.005+08:00

Here is a transcript of recent Rojak sinkalan conversation with Ah Lian

Rojak: Ah Lian ah, you know there is high level of glucose found in male semen?

Ah Lian: You mean got sugar in man punya cum?

Rojak: Yeah la. You clever also. If no belif you can go check the N-Psychopedia!

Ah Lian: No need to check la. I just don't belif la because from my expereince the cum all no taste sweet also! If got sugar, sure it taste sweet sweet one. Right ?

Rojak: Ermmmm...well...you don't taste the sweet sweet in the cum because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat! If no belif you can go check the N-Psychopedia!

Damn Sian La !

2008-03-27T11:29:00.002+08:00

After Samy Gone, Rafi (FatLady) gone, Zakar-Ria (Happy Balls) gone, Toyol (Little Ghost) gone, Zam (1 Erection Every 5 years) gone...now...Damn Sian la.

Tiu! Don't we just miss them :-(

Missing in Action

2008-03-19T15:17:00.002+08:00

If found alive, please ask him go commit suicide!

New Economic Policy ?

2008-03-15T10:25:00.002+08:00

The New Economic Policy was launched by the Malaysian government in 1971.

The Year 1971

Richard Nixon was the President of USA (He is now dead)

John Lennon releases his megahit "Imagine" (He is now dead)

Idi Amin siezes power in Uganda (He is now dead)

George Best was the Star Player at Manchester United (He is now dead)

Samy Vellu was a Tamil newscaster with RTM (He is now as good as dead)

Your grandmother was a virgin. (...???...)

Post Erection Update

2008-03-11T14:51:00.003+08:00

Zakaria Found a New Home

Samy Found a New Job

Lin Peh Teach You How To See Ghost

2008-03-05T10:57:00.004+08:00

Many peeples believe in ghost but not many are so "fortunate" to get a chance to see one! However, today Lin Peh will teach you how to see ghost ... I mean REAL GHOST!

Here is the step by step guide on How To See Ghost:

1. Click at the offical website of Election Commision here.

2. Key in any of the following IC Number:

801018775059
800311086231
811028045577
830416610017
841207065917
851222740019
850513106435
851117106729
850802106378
850916086838
860320145365
861101105077
860208145701
860320145357
861217145011
860126145839
871205740015
870914105781
870418105790
871016146308
881231100432
881103750027
880505066047
880906087033
881030136332
891102740096
891129740088
890520610089
890112146416
890920076065
890403615016
910609755079
920622710069
920612740045

3. Look at the Birth Year and BINGO!

4. CRY loud loud cause you just see ghost !

5. MAHAI !

The Last Cabinet Meeting

2008-02-26T10:38:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

Pak Lah: This is the last meeting we are going to have before I make my decision on who our candidates are. First of all, I would like to thank Keng Yaik and Affendi for voluntarily backing out. You are truly gentlemen. Anyone else wants to back out? Think of the party, not of yourself.

Najib: I think Samy should back out la.

Samy: Apa pasai? Why you think I should back out? Why not you?

Najib: You are a liability to MIC and BN la Samy, accept it la.

Samy: What do you mean liability? Give me proof?

Hisham: Ayo Samy, our intelligence report say, we will lose almost 100% of Indian votes if you still lead MIC. If you get lost, maybe we can bring it down to 60%.

Samy: Pakla, don't listen to this two young punks la. Let me read this report just sent to me. After extensive intelligence gathering, we find that 20% of the Indians hated Samy Velu. Ha, only 20% la, where got 100%?

Nazri: Hey Samy I also got the same report la. Why don't you continue?

Samy: Okay, I'll continue, 40% cannot stand to see his face and 35% will kill him if they were to meet him. 5% believe that he is a good leader. Ha, I still got 5% what?

Pak Lah: Come on la Samy, you've been around for a long time already; you have made your money. You are even richer than me, so back out la. Think of the party la Samy.

Samy: Yes, I am richer than you but Najib, 2 deals only is already richer than me, why not ask him also to go? His submarine and Sukhoi and Altantunya also make him a liability what.

Pak Lah: I know that one, but he is from UMNO, that is the difference. The Malays will accept corrupt Malay leaders, as long as they potong, its okay.

Samy: Oh, kalu chunik potong kalu, berapa banyak rasuah pun takpa ka? Mana adil ini macam Pakla?

Najib: That is the way it is in this country Samy. We all from UMNO got immunity, you people, tadak potong punya, don't.

Samy: No, saya akan tetap bertanding.

Kayveas: Adei Samy, listen to them la, what they say is true la. Don't talk about justice all la, as if you are concerned about justice. This is not the place to be talking about justice la old man. We want to win. If that means you will be dropped then so be it.

Samy: Dei Kayveas, you just shut up la. You budak lagi la, you apa tau? What you want to be champions of the Indians ka? If I am forced to back out, I make sure you go down with me. Hey, Mahathir also cannot force me out la.

Kayveas: Tengok Pakla, tadak guna punya Hindu. Think of himself only. Just shoot him la Pakla, don't give chance. Najib, itu C4 lagi ada ka? Mari kita sekarang taroh itu C4 sama dia. Cilaka punya orang.

Keng Yaik: Samy ah, enough la. So long already you in the cabinet. You want to stay until you die ka? What you think they will bury you in the Makam Pahlawan ka? Every time people curse you la. Now even your own race cannot stand you, give up la Samy. Come join me la. We all retire. After all, we are not sure if we are going to win this time around. BN also not sure going to win or not.

Pak Lah: What are you talking about Kheng Yaik? Why you say like that? Lu jaga lu punya mulut ah Apek.

Keng Yaik: No la Pak Lah, If everyone wants to deny us 2/3 majority, then all of them would not vote us la. We may lose more than just 1/3 la. Haiya, that one also cannot see ah?

Pak Lah: Maybe the Chinese or Indians la Keng Yaik, not the Malays la. The Malays love UMNO.

Keng Yaik: Are you sure ah Pak Lah? Now even the Chinese and Indians are willing to vote PAS if it is the only opposition available to them, don't you think that there would be Malays willing to vote DAP? Don't be foolish la Pak Lah. Until now still cannot get Kelantan despite all the dirty tricks. Who are majority voters in Kelantan? Malys la, some more what.

Pak Lah: Betoi ka dia kata tu Najib?

Najib: Jangan dengar cakap orang tua penyembur tu la Pak lah. Orang Melayu takkan lupa UMNO punya. Orang Melayu rela mati untuk UMNO

Nazri: Ntah la, ada lojik jugak cakap Keng Yaik tu. Memang la orang Melayu rela mati untuk UMNO tapi rela ka dia mati untuk kita?

Pak Lah: Apa yang orang Melayu tak puaih hati lagi dengan kita? Kita bagi macam-macam kat depa, apa lagi dia mau?

Kah Ting: Lu mau tau ka? Dia olang tengok sumua itu UMNO punya olang besar manyak kaya. Bikin lumah banyak besar. Keleta 4, 5, sumua mahal-mahal punya. Dulu punya Melayu punya UMNO punya olang tak buat itu macam. Kalau dia kaya pun, dia tak tunjuk sama olang. Sekalang punya UMNO punya olang manyak sombong oh. Dia kaya, dia selalu tunjuk. Dia tak takot punya. Itu olang Melayu biasa tak suka la ini macam punya sombong punya olang.

Nazri: Apa, salah ka dia beli rumah besar dan kereta besar? Apa orang Cina saja ka buleh beli rumah besar. Pak Lah, letak Kah Ting kat Tanjong tengok. Jom kita tengok orang Cina suka kat dia ka tak?

Keng Yaik: Tak salah, tapi baru 2, 3 hari jadi menteri sudah kaya ka? Dia punya gaji berapa? Dulu jaga gate keretapi sekarang boleh bikin Istana, orang tak heran ka la Pak Lah? Your weakness ah, is that you think the Malays are stupid. They are not la Pak Lah. Many have opened their eyes la. Many are not ignorant anymore.

Pak Lah: Alah, kalau kalah pun, kalah sikit saja.

Keng Yaik: Sorry ha Pak Lah if I say something. You have been sleeping too much, you have lost touch with reality.

Pak Lah: I think ah Keng Yaik, you don't resign la. This year you stand in Permatang Pauh, mau ka?

Samy: Pak Lah, saya macam mana?

Pak Lah: Meeting adjourn la, semua balik dulu. Saya mengantok ni. Nanti lain kali la.

Disclaimer: The above "transcript" was not written by Lin Peh; it was spam to my email ! Go catch the Spammer if action has to be taken ;-)

Erection 2008

2008-02-23T11:40:00.002+08:00

Fong Vs Samy - A Comparative Study

2008-02-21T10:09:00.001+08:00

Who should you vote for ?
Please Scrool Down.......


Fong Po Kuan	Samy Vellu
Perak MP	Perak MP
DAP	MIC
Ah Moi	An Neh
Batu Gajah	Pray to Gajah
Known as Cili Padi	Known as Bola Carry
Got married this year	This year not yet married
Bocor Every Month	Botak Everyday
Rule herself out of coming election due to Internal Politics	Rule everyone else out of coming election due to Internal Politics
Cannot be contacted recently	Appearing everywhere recently
Got Blog	Don't even have Friendster

What's your choice ?

Funny Humor Humour Fong+Po+Kuan Samy+Vellu Malaysia Election

Ideas for Your Valentine Message

2008-02-13T10:03:00.003+08:00

For those chics who are interested to have a Valentine's date with Lin Peh, please click HERE.

For those uncle uncle who are still trying to get your own Valentine's chic but don't know how to write romantik romantik message to them...here are some sugegstions from Lin Peh:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you..
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

Good Luck and Happy on Your VD (Valentine's Day) !

Gong Xi Fa Cai

2008-02-06T11:18:00.000+08:00

Lin Peh Wishing You, Your Family, Your Extended Family, Your Entire Tribe, Your Pets, Your Piaoker, Your Piaomei, Your Political Party and Your Lingam Lawyer:

Very Happy and Prosperous Gong Xi Fa Cai

This special post is brought to you by:

Gillian Ah Kiu Hairy Abalone by Edison Chan

AND

Edison Mini Sausage by Gillian Ah Kiu

Tech Tags: Humor Humour Funny New+Year Twins Gillian Edison Abalone Sausage Sex Scandal

Latest from OLIN: iPiaoker

2008-01-28T16:14:00.000+08:00

After the very sucessful lauching of the iPiaomei and iWallop, OLIN received a lot of request to come out with a special produck for all the aunty-aunty and horny chics who always no getting enough from their real life piaoker.

After the long long waiting, OLIN is proud to present to you its latest produck:

iPiaoker

It is a Life Size Piaoker!

Front View Sexy, Rear View Also Sexy

Money Back Garenti! Aunty See Aunty Horny

Damn Solid! Even the ~~nen-nen~~ Chest Got Muscles One

Can Be Placed at Your Sofa with Remote Control in Hand Just like Your Normal Piaoker

Always on Standby Mode - Got Erection All The Time

The Erection is Elastic, Flexible and Realistic Feel

Water Resistant, Stain Resistant, Heat Resistant

In Case Your Water Overflow, His Lanjiao Still Can Pop Up

So, why spend your hard earned money on keeping a Piaoker and running into risk of getting HIV, AIDS and DVD when you can have iPiaoker delivered directly to your doorstep ?

To place your order, please have your credit card ready and call:
1-800-LIN-PEH

Another Great Produck by:

Tech Tags: Humor Humour Funny Adult+Toy

2 Girls 1 Cup

2008-01-16T11:18:00.000+08:00

EXTREME WARNING!

You know la. Lin Peh usually no give warning about my post one. But today, different story because Lin Peh decided to give you warning about the following video entitled - 2 Girls 1 Cup performed by 2 sorhais who Sek Si Or Fun (Engrish peeple say: eat shit let go rice):

If you are underage, DON'T WATCH!
If you are too old, DON'T WATCH!

If your boss in office, DON'T WATCH!
If your father, mother, children at home, DON'T WATCH!

If you are eating, DON'T WATCH!
If you eat full full already, DON'T WATCH!

If you have peeple behind you, DON'T WATCH!
If you have peeple in front of you, DON'T WATCH!

Tiu...so 9 many warning....go eat shit la!

After watching, you can still type comment ah ? HAHAHAHAHA!

WHEN LIN PEH GIVE WARNING YOU LISTEN!

Tech Tags: 2 girls 1 cup eat shit sex porn XXX funny pervert

Poor Daddy Rich Daddy

2008-01-11T13:08:00.000+08:00

Poor Daddy:
Pretend to be rich

Rich Daddy:
Pretend to be poor

Poor Daddy:
Rear dog outside the house

Rich Daddy:
Rear dog inside the house

Poor Daddy:
Go see doctor, doctor ask him to gain weight

Rich Daddy:
Doctor go see him, doctor ask him to lose weight

Poor Daddy:
Ride Bicycle on the street

Rich Daddy:
Ride Bicycle in the Living Room

Poor Daddy:
Make the wife become his part time Secretary

Rich Daddy:
Make Secretary become his part time wife

Poor Daddy:
Wake up by the chicken crowing in the morning

Rich Daddy:
Crow and wake up the chicken in the evening

Tech Tags: rich+dad poor+dad humor humour funny motivation

Starring Chua Soi Lek

2008-01-02T17:05:00.000+08:00

When Lin Peh was preparing new year parties with all the piaomeis, Lin Peh got an sms from a friend asking who is the MCA minister in the porno DVD. Lin Peh first reaction was like: Wah lao eh....this new year good leh, at least got some new thing on newspaper lor! Fucking hell, if not of this, every day Lin Peh on the tv and open the newspaper is only Indian Hindraft news! KNNBCCB! Lin Peh go holiday come back open newspaper and still see nothing but the Ahnehneh news.

At that time, Lin Peh tought the PM will step in and tell the whole nation that we must first authenticate the DVD and then force the person having the original recording to come out. Sound familiar ? ;-) HAHAHAHA!

Anyway, this Chua Soi Lek was honest enough to call press conference and admitted that he was the one starring in the movie so the authentication is no longer an issue la. Wa sai! Lin Peh very like his honesty! Actually, he damn brave to say this kind of thing! But it seems like honesty in the worst policy in this country because since then, many peeples just took out machine guns and shoot, all also say he "taisei" la, shameful la, unholly la, indecent la, la la la etc etc etc and wanted his head. So, he resigned liao!

Well, Lin Peh think that most of the peeple when see sex tape all blur liao. Fuck you la, think with your head la ! Which piaomei he did it with and how his performance in bed is his personal matter and if his wife want to wack him with broom that's their own problem. WHO ARE YOU TO TELL HIM WHAT IS MORALLY RIGHT?. Actually, as long as the money he spent on the room and his piaomei is not the taxpayers money then Lin Peh don't give a shit! On the other hand, Lin Peh see that those fuckers who built big bangoro with the tax payers and those who did the disappearing act on BILLIONS OF RINGGIT at PKFZ are more damaging to the country all still not yet resign! So, Lin Peh conclusion is, cheat the taxpayers money is ok but if you fuck piaomei AND KENA RECORDED..you are fucked!

From the reaction generated from this issue, you all should now understand why The President of the Penang Municipal Council, Datuk Abu Bakar Hassan, blamed the CCTV incident on the “sexy” attire worn by the women reporters. It's the same la fucker! The one kena recorded got the bullethole whereas the one holding the camera become the HERO!

Anyway, Lin Peh think the Malaysian in general so damn fucking blur until they think they vote for GOD during the general election. Lanjiao la ! He is a human la ! And human fuck piaomei just like you also need to get screwed from time to time! Somemore, he is a Health Minister so he sure damn healthy and healthy man need to fuck more Piaomeis! OK, tell me which do you prefer as a health minister? A healthy man who can fuck or an unfuckable man ? HAHAHAH! You want to have a GOD as your minister, you migrate to Vatican city and vote for POPE la ! Mahai! HAHAHAHA!

Tech Tags: Chua+Soi+Lek Malaysia Health+Minister Politics Scandal Humor Humour Funny

Predictions for 2008

2007-12-31T12:08:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day of 2007 which means tomorrow is the first day of 2008.

For your information, Master Lin Peh at tok3tok4.blogspot.com has been working on providing you with the 2008 predictions.

Unlike other horoscope and astrology report which base on your birthyear, birthmonth, birthday, birthtime, sun sign, moon sign, star sign and your body shape, Master Lin prediction is catered for all peeple wan ! It's something like a one size fit all punya underwear! Somemore hor..this one you no need pay money wan! FREE OF CHARGE!

Here's Lin Peh prediction for 2008 designed especially for you:

General:
2008 will be a year of progress but there will be hurdles as well. You have to face the hurdle intelligently and once you overcome the hurdles, you will enjoy the results. When you drive, drive carefuly because got a lot of road accidents and a lot of roadblocks. When cross the street also you must be careful because a lot of cars on the street.

Career:
They will be some changes in your career and/or working environment. You should be careful when making those changes and accept the changes with open mind if those changes was forced upon you. Don't argue with your boss.

Health:
2008 is a year of good health for you. But always watch your diet to prevent any unnecessary illness. Occasionally, if you feel sick, please go see doctor.

Financial:
Financial will improve as long as you work hard. Don't be greedy. You stand a chance to strike lottery if you got buy lottery.

Love/Marriage:
Your love life is generally good. For those in love, it's time to get married. For those married, you should avoid controversy so you will be more in love.

With the above predictions, Lin Peh wish you all, your family, and your entire kampong, Happy Yamade New Year!

Signing off for 2007.
Master Lin Peh @ Lingam Peh

Tech Tags: 2008 prediction horoscope feng+shui humor humour funny

This Year Why No Sing Song For Christmas ?

2007-12-21T15:38:00.000+08:00

KNN, for past few weeks Lin Peh received so 9 many emails from the sorhai bloggers about why this year no sing-song projeck for Christmas. Many of them even cum out with their own reasons. Here are the 5 most commonly cited reasons:

1. Lin Peh busy preparing for ~~election~~ erection.

2. Lin Peh busy selling DVD to prepare for next year inflation.

3. Lin Peh scared do the wrong song accidently and kena charged ISA!

4. Lin Peh still in Batu Cave with those Hindraf fellas.

5. Lin Peh still "stuck" in the LinMa Japanese Harry-Cock-Tor Show.

Anyway, thanks for all your concern and sappot. But soli la, this year really no sing-song because Lin Peh very enviromently friendly and want to recycle the old songs ! HAHAHAHAHH!

Please download the song by right click HERE.

For those of you who are new to this blog, the song is a Christmas song Lin Peh did last year with a bunch of bloggers friends: 5xMom, Allison,Angel, Cocka, Crazy Girl, CY Gemini, Helen, Inevitable, JKN, John Ong, Kenny Ng, King's Wife, Lady Moon, Lin Peh, Little Patchi, LP, Matthew Kang, Rojak, Seng Kor, Simple American, Tiu Niasing. The song damn 9 solid and was on the dunno what chart for so many weeks. Listen to it to belief.

For those who have heard the song before, you may still download the song again if your computer kena virus and HD reformated already.

Anyway, enjoy the song, have a wonderful Christmas. Remember, don't drink and drive and don't drive while getting BJ from piaomei ;-)

Merry Christmas!

Tech Tags: Christmas karaoke sing song project bloggers Rudolph

What You Cannot See at LIMA You Get it at LINMA

2007-12-07T12:27:00.000+08:00

In conjunction with the LIMA exhibition in Langkawi, Lin Peh also got organize a similar exhibition called LINMA exhibition.

Just like all other internationl high crass exhibitions, the LINMA also got showtime feature foreign artists wan. The highlight for this year LINMA show is the Helicopter Show performed by Japanese.

For those of you who missed it, here you go. The video clip of LINMA JAPANESE HELICOPTER SHOW:

How Malaysian Are You ?

2007-11-29T15:05:00.001+08:00

If you want to know how stupid you are, go take the IQ test.

If you want to know how Emo you are, go take EQ test.

However, if you want to know how Malaysian you are, please take the following MQ test developed by Lin Peh without any kopiright wan!

The test is very simple one. Just answer the following questions and add up you score:

1. When waiting for lift:

A) You press the up button when you want to go up and down button if you want go go down (1 point)

B) You press the up button when you want to go down and down button if you want go go up (5 points)

C) You press both the buttons regardless whether you want to go up or down (10 points)

2. When the lift arrive:

A) You make sure eveyone come out already before you enter (1 point)

B) You see some peeple come out already only you enter (5 points)

C) You no fuck got peeple no peeple come out, you just bulldozer your way in like Maradona wallop the Engrand defenders.

3. On the street:

A) You walk fast fast and drive also fast fast fast (1 point)

B) You walk slow slow and drive also slow slow (5 points)

C) You walk like turtle like that but drive like Formula 1 (10 points)

4. When riding a bike:

A) You ride alone (1 point)

B) You have ONE passenger at the backseat (5 points)

C) You have your entire fucking village on you backseat like circus like that (10 points)

5. Which side of the road do you drive:

A) Left (1 point)

B) Right (5 points)

C) Either side depend on what I like (10 points)

6. You think Washington is:

A) Name of a president (1 point)

B) Name of a city (5 points)

C) Name of Apple (10 points)

7. You think someone with a "bin" in his name is:

A) A Terrorist (1 point)

B) A Rocker (5 points)

C) Own 30% of everything under the sky (10 points)

8. You know Mawi as:

A) Name of a place in Hawaii (1 point)

B) Name of a tribe in New Zealand (5 points)

C) Name of a rock star (10 points)

9. On Education:

A) You failed everything and cannot get a job (1 point)

B) You pass some, fail some and cannot get a job (5 points)

C) You scored all A and cannot get a job (10 points)

10. On Politics:

A) You love your gaoment and you vote for them ( Minus 10 points)

B) You fuck your gaoment and you vote the opposition (5 points)

C) You fuck your gaoment but still vote for them (10 points)

Please add up you score and check the following:

10 to 50 points - You don't belong to Malaysia. You shall be deported !

51 to 99 points - With some training, you can be a good malaysian. You shall be awarded PR status.

100 points - MALAYSIA BOLEH !

Tech Tags: Malaysian IQ+Test EQ+Test Humour Humor Funny

Mega Traffic Jam

2007-11-23T14:55:00.000+08:00

This morning, as Lin Peh was driving the chibye Proton along the Federal Highway Lin Peh got stuck in a massive traffic jam. Accoring to Rojak punya 9 hai Blog, the jam was because our An Neh Neh bruders each requesting a compensation of RM3.4 Millions from the British gaoment so they want go talk to the Queen E this sunday at the British Hai Commission about the money.

Anyway, after the cars all move slow slow for long time, Lin Peh realize the jam was caused by road block. At the road block, there were some guys carry machine gun checking every car and talking to people through their car windows. So, when it comes to Lin Peh turn, Lin Peh asked "Eh, why block?"

The guy with the machine gun says, "Well, the gaoment scared the An Neh Neh bruders may not be getting the RM3.4 Millions each from the Bristish Gaoment this Sunday. because Engrand lost the Footbal match to croatia and no money liao. As a result, the An Neh Neh bruders may get angry and douse the British Hai Commision in gasoline and burn it down, so we are here to set up a collection booth and try to collect some money for the An Neh Neh bruders to help the An Neh Neh bruders.

Lin Peh asked, "How much have you gotten so far?"

"About twenty gallons."

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

p.s. The above story is fictitious wan, please don't belief! ;-)

Tech Tags: Malaysia Indian British Traffic+Jam

Solution for Erection Problem

2007-11-19T12:23:00.000+08:00

According to the video above, the stupid fucker so proud to announce that he got an ERECTION once every 5 years. Actually when got problem like that, please don't go on TV and tell the whole world about it la. Damn 9 embarrasing leh ;-)

However, Lin Peh would recommend that he go get a surgery that takes the muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk and insert the trunk in the base of his lanjiao. Because this type surgery can get him very good erection and he can erect anytime he wants to; no need wait until 5 years! This surgery is strongly recommended for peeple like him because his lanjiao can then grow long long and grab apple, banana, sugarcane and insert them into his big asshole !

Niasing...one erection every 5 years and he still dare to admit by telling the whole world on International TV. Tiu you la ! By the way, NOT ALL MALAYSIAN HAVE ERECTION EVERY 5 YEARS OK ? KNNCCB! Get an iPiaomei la ! Niamachaohai! Pukima lu!

Tech Tags: Erection Bersih+Video iPiaomei Funny Humor Humour Malaysia

New Malaysian Words

2007-11-14T12:28:00.000+08:00

During the recent UMNO gathering, the DPM was a hero liddat because he invented some new Pahwerful malay words such as Glokal and Mengangkasa Bangsa and all the newspaper say he very pandai.

So, to be as trendy as him, Lin Peh also invented a few new words. Please go through them carefully and use them frequently so peeple know you very up to date:

ZAKARASUAH (adjective)
Living in a big bangoro that cannot be justified by one's income.

Example:
Rojak always complain he no money but his bangoro is so big. He is such a ZAKARASUAH.

ANGKASAWANG (verb)
Spending other peeple's money on unnecessary things.

Example:
Rojak so stupid. He ANGKASAWANG RM300 on a piaomei last night. He could have sendiri TFK and save that money.

NASRIDIOT (adjective)
Talking nonsense without using brain

Example:
Rojak told me last weekend only got 4,000 peeple visited Datarn Merdeka. I think he is becoming an NASRIDIOT liao.

LINGAMOVIE (noun)
Series of movie clips recorded using handphone.

Example:
Rojak told me his handphone is running out of memory because he has a lot of LINGAMOVIE in it.

PROTON (adjective)
A car which power window cannot function wan.

Example:
Rojak drives a brand new Lembu-Ghini but the power-window broke down already. It has become a PROTON.

Please write a short story (below 50 words) using the new pahwer words above. The best writer will be properly "rewarded" !

Tech Tags: language new+word funny humor humour

Political Scene in Malaysia

2007-11-09T14:43:00.000+08:00

Time to legalise abortion ?

Tech Tags: politics malaysia abortion funny humor humour

Samy The Astronaut

2007-11-02T11:32:00.000+08:00

Note: The following is 100% Copy and Paste

Samy Vellu ditemuramah tentang program angkasawan negara.

Samy: "...Bagi saya, ini semua adalah satu pembaziran atas duit rakyat.
Kita sepatutnya tidak hantar mereka ke bulan, tapi hantar mereka pergi
matahari. Barulah USA, Russia, respect sama kita...."

Penemuramah: Tapi Dato' Seri, matahari kan panas. Macam mana mau pergi
sana ?

Samy: Cit! Itu pasal la lu tara jadi mintri. Saya suda lebey 30 tahun
jadi mintri, saya musti ada jalan penyelesaian. Kita jangan pergi siang,
manyak panas. Kita pigi malam, baru ada sujuuuuuk......

Tech Tags: Samy Vellu Funny Humour Humor Malaysia Astronaut

Good Website Must Share - Samy Vellu Tok Con

2007-11-01T11:43:00.000+08:00

As usual, when Lin Peh see something good, Lin Peh like to share with you. Today Lin Peh found a super duper interesting site by the name of Lato Seri Samy Vellu Tok Con

It is the official website of our Dear Lato Seri and it has all his latest information such as his speeches and his activities and you can even contact him! Si peh kuat!

When you click on his speeches, you realize that his speeches also damn pahwer also. He got speeches with title like:

"A New Identity for Malaysian Indians In A Globalize Society"

"The Philosophy of Malaysia’s Growth"

Niasing, Pahwer leh ?

In line with his vision of "Make more mani and you jadi more happi!", his website also got accept advertisement wan. For all you know, it may be featuring OLIN advertisement there in the near future. ;-)

In addition, if you want to become his ~~crony~~ buddy, you can also join his My Blog Log as his "member". You see, currently he got only 3 members (2 an-neh-neh plus Lin Peh).

So, please join fast fast before he starts giving out contract too all the "members"!!! You See, got good thing Lin Peh sure share share wan ! HAHAHAHA !

Tech Tags: Samy Vellu MyBlogLog Website Funny Humour Humor Malaysia India

Good Thing Must Share - Picspay

2007-10-26T16:39:00.000+08:00

Recently, Lin Peh discovered one damn super website by the name of picspay.com that Lin Peh want to share with all of you. This special website not only give you FREE unlimited space to host all your non-humsap or semi-humsap pictures, it also pay you if your readers go click on the pics to see the nen-nen in closeup ! ;-)

So, Lin Peh decided to host all the pictures at PicsPay.com so when you all click those pictures, Lin Peh will make money and become rich! HOHOHOHO!

Not only that wor, because if you intro your friends to sign up, you will also make 10% of your friends earnings.

So, all MY DEAR FRIENDS...please click at the picture below and sign up. Lin Peh assure you that the 10% will be reinvested into the R&D of OLIN! ;-)

NOTE: THIS IS A NO PAY PER POST! Niasing.

Tech Tags: image+host free make+money picture photos

David Copperfield Sexually Misconduct ?

2007-10-23T19:40:00.000+08:00

It is reported that the Magic Show by David Copperfield had to be cancelled following sexual misconduct accusations by an unidentified woman.

It was also reported that the FBI raided Copperfield's warehouse and seized some US$2mil cash and computer equipments.

KNNCCB! after watching all the CSI movies, Lin Peh would think that the FBI is damn super and know how to investigate a sexual miscondut case. Peeple accused him of sexual misconduct, FBI went and seized his computer pulak. Cybersex kah ?

Now you must really appreciate the Malaysian police force because when got sexual misconduct case, you see what they seized:

Malaysia Boleh !

Tech Tags: David+Copperfield Sexual+Misconduct FBI Malaysia Police Anwar

Malaysia Ringgit Boleh !

2007-10-11T15:18:00.000+08:00

New sources for Foreign Maids

2007-10-10T11:04:00.001+08:00

According to report from The Star today, Malaysians will soon be able to hire maids from India, Nepal, Laos and Vietnam.

Lin Peh think this is a very good move by the gaoment. It will make all the aunties aunties very happy because they now got more options and these maids will be better behave, more hardworking and won't tackle their husbands. Most likely, the maids will look like those in the following pictures:

India

Laos

Nepal

Vietnam

On the other hand, the uncle uncle will be very happy with this new gaoment ruling because Lin Peh is going to start a maid agency to supply maids of top quality from those countries. Let Lin Peh show you some samples:

India

Laos

Nepal

Vietnam

Happy or not ? So, those of you who need a housemate, please contact Lin Peh directly ;-)

Tech Tags: maids vietnam laos india nepal malaysia humour humor funny

Global Warming

2007-10-09T12:29:00.000+08:00

Here is the best evident of global warming Lin Peh ever seen. So, to all the leaders leaders, no need tok so much and sign treaty already...just keep it going !

Tech Tags: global+warming humor humour funny

Space Mission 104: Specially for Spaceflight Participant

2007-10-05T15:38:00.000+08:00

To celebrate that our first Malaysian boleh astronaut is not an astronaut according to the Official Website of NASA, Lin Peh will today continue the Space Mission Mini Series by toking about "Space Mission 104: Specially for Spaceflight Participant"

In this episode 104, Lin Peh will show you what can our Boleh ~~Astronaut~~ Spaceflight Participant do in space since he got so much free time up there.

The answer is ~~Ta Fei Kei~~ EXERCISE!

Since it is zero gravity up there, exercising can be quite a challenging task. So, Lin Peh will now specially design a series of Space Exercise for our Spaceflight Participant.

Step 1: Breathing
Just like any other exercise, you must start with your breathing exercise by Sam Fu Cup, Cup Hei, Tao Hei (Repeat until oxygen tank empty)

Step 2: Stretching
Pom Chak Chak Pom Chak Chak

Step 3: Upper Body
Swing your hands and point them to the Stars of your choice

Step 4: Lower Body
Move to your right and back

Move to your left and back

Step 5: Siaran Tergendala - Stop For Prayer

Yes..it's prayer time, make sure to perform your prayer even you are in space!

Step 6: Resume Exercise
Resume exercise with Head Exercise. Make sure you sing along the song from Shaolin Soccer
Siu Lam Kung Fu Hou....Ngo Hai Tit Tao Gong !! Ai...Cah

Step 6: Floating Exercise
Practice this move, extremely useful if the Russian astronauts abandon you.

Step 7: Boogie Exercise

You can do this move for the other astronauts when they ask you to entertain them in space.

Step 8: Buang Sueh

Do this before re-entering the earth, like that all the Sueh Hei from outer space will be buang!

Step 9: Group Exercise

Do this group exercise with the others so you can create the first ever Malaysia Boleh Space MTV!

Step 10: Mission Completed

Well done! Time to go campaign for Barisan Nasional
Money money come...
Money money come....

Tech Tags: space+program russia spaceship funny humour humor

Sex at Different Stages of Life

2007-10-01T11:24:00.000+08:00

After some very extensive researches, Lin Peh concluded that sex pattern at different stages of life can be summarised as follows:

PUBLIC SEX

Most suitable for:
Couple who just met and falling for each other. Best for quick thrill.

Where they do:
Public places such as park, cinema, public toilet, in the car, or even on the motorbike.

How they do:

BATHROOM SEX

Most suitable for:
Couple who are dating because when dating time, couple damn horny and kinky wan.

Where they do:
Bathroom at his place or her place (when no one else at home). Best to do at the hotel bathroom when go travelling together.

How they do:

KITCHEN SEX

Most suitable for:
Newlywed couple who are still horny and romantic. Best for quickie during dinner.

Where they do:
Own house kitchen because restaurant's kitchen usually non-accessible :-(

How they do:

BEDROOM SEX

Most suitable for:
Couple who have been married between 1 to 5 years. Also known as routine sex.

Where they do:
Bedroom at their own house only.

How they do:

CORRIDOR SEX

Most suitable for:
Couple who have been married for more than 5 years. The longer they married, the more often they do it.

Where they do:
All the corridors including Nothern Corridor, Southern Corridor, Eastern Corridor even Multimedia Super Corridor. But most often at the Corridor in front of their own house.

How they do:

Tech Tags: humour humor funny sex adult

Space Mission 103: Pre-Departure Preparation

2007-09-21T15:50:00.000+08:00

The time almost here. The first astronaut of Malaysia will be leaving for outer space soon. Too bad most of you don't get to know the detail of space program because The Malaysia International Aerospace Adventure 2007 (MIA 2007) exhibition has really gone MIA!

Today Lin Peh will continue the Space Mission Mini Series by toking about "Space Mission 103: Pre-Departure Preparation"

In this episode 103, Lin Peh will show you the checklist that our Boleh Astronaut has to go through before the departure date:

1. Make sure to check the signal lights, break light, side mirror, rear mirror and the reverse light of the space ship all in working condition.

2. Make sure to bring a few extra Jalur Gemilang just in case got Terengganu kids on the same flight.

3. Practise your roti canai flipping skill! You may be asked to do that in space!

4. Bring along your sambal balachan because the space food sucks!

5. Make sure your passport is valid for at least six months beyond your date of departure.

6. Make sure to load the entire 'Apollo 13' soundtrack in your iPod.

7. Remember to call the Russian Space Agency and reconfirm your ticket at least 24 hours before departure time. Make sure all "payments" have been settled!

8. Make sure you bring along the updated atlas of the universe which shows thats Pluto is no longer part of our solar system.

9. Remember to bring some monkeys from home because it is legal to export them !

10. Check your Mykad on the status of your religion to ensure no confusion when you come home.

Tech Tags: space+program russia spaceship secret funny humour humor

Hokkien MTV for Non Hokkien Peeple

2007-09-16T13:28:00.000+08:00

Lin Peh's favourite song of all time is a Hokkien Song by the name of JIPABAN(One Million) because the song really got meaning and got pahwer!

Today Lin Peh is very the happy because can finally share this song with all the non hokkien peeple by using the following MTV!

Here it goes....ENJOY:

Tech Tags: funny humour humor MTV hokkien One-Million

Lin Peh Tok Budget

2007-09-14T17:08:00.000+08:00

Since the budget announcement by the gaoment one week ago, many peeples been complaining about this that and so and forth. For those of you blur fuck who don't really know how it works. Let Lin Peh summarize for you.

The is Gaoment Version:

1. Income:

The above figures a bit blur blur wan

Since the figure above blur a bit, Lin Peh summarize a bit for you. Basically, the table say next year gaoment will make money like this:

Total Direct Tax (Corporate tax, Petroleum Tax, Corporate Tax)
RM74.915 billion

Indirect Tax (excise duty, sales tax, service tax)
RM27.080 billion

Non Tax Revenue (Dividends from Petronas, licenses, permits)
RM45.098 billion

Total Revenue: RM147.093 billion

2. Total Expenditures: RM176.9 billion
(This figure is provided by the gaoment, published everywhere already so no dispute please)

3. Conclusion:
The gaoment will be spending RM29.807 billion MORE THAN its income i.e. budget deficit!

Lin Peh's Budget
Now, let's look at the figures in the picture below which were also provided by the gaoment, but different dept from the one above:

Based on the figures above, the gaoment paid a total of
RM 16,665.94 (RM10,700 + RM5,741 + RM224.94)

for goods with the market value of:
RM507 (RM417 + RM50 + RM40).

Which means an "inflation" of 32.87 times.

This is Lin Peh's Version

1. Don't be so greedy la.
Let's inflate the expenses by 2 times enough la. Like that those peeple involve with the inflation still untong 2 times, still won't die of hunger. By inflating the "actual" expenses based on 2 times, the expenses will be

RM10.77 billion. (176.9/32.87 X 2)

2. Abolish Direct and Indirect Tax!
That means gaoment income will only from Non Tax Revenue of RM45.098 billion.
After spending the RM10.77 billion, still got balance of RM34.328 billion balance.

3. Distribute the Balance.
Divide the RM34.328 billion equally to the 30 million population(including the 5 million ~~illegal~~ foreign workers) which means each person (old, young, baby included) will get RM1,144.27.!

Conclusion
No more tax somemore got money back from the gaoment. Happy not? This is the real people friendly and caring budget la! You think can call for erection anytime ?

DREAM ON LA ! SORHAI ! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tech Tags: budget 2008 malaysia humor humour funny

Hai School Musical

2007-09-11T10:40:00.002+08:00

Recently, Lin Peh got read on the newspaper that the actress from High School Musical - Vanessa Anne Hudgens - Got showed nen nen on some pictures. So, as part of Lin Peh Community Service Projeck For The Deprived Mah Latt Lor, Lin Peh went and search and found this:

Aiya...that one Lin Peh sure you have seen and didn't show much nen nen also. Nevermind la. So, Lin Peh did more searching and found these:

Now, this is Hai School Musical! Not bad huh ? ;-)

Tech Tags: Vanessa+Anne+Hudgens High+School+Musical Nude

iBitch on Demand

2007-09-06T05:23:00.000+08:00

The Majlis Perbandaran Selayang is having a Dog Catching contest and the winner will be rewarded with cash:

As a very responsibile corporate citizen that always sappot the gaoment (town council is also like gaoment like that), OLIN has just launched its iBitch On Demand specially for this dog catching contest.

With iBitch On Demand, you can loan the iBitch at a norminal fees and use them as bait to bait your target during the contest:

Lin Peh sure your "harvest" will be damn good with iBitch On Demand.

Terms and condition as follows:

1. Please clean the iBitch with bleach and dettol and rinse them for at least 10 times before returning them. Any uncleaned iBitch will be considered SOLD and you will be charge Double the suggested retail price.

2. The iBitch can only be use to bait the dog and NOT the organiser of the event. OLIN reserves the right to perform DNA test on the suspected user if we suspect that the iBitch has been used by anyone else other than the Dog.

A Community Projeck by

Tech Tags: Humor Humour Funny Adult+Toy Dog

Merdeka Fireworks

2007-09-04T19:10:00.000+08:00

During the Merdeka holiday, Lin Peh's childhood friend Apu suddenly called Lin Peh ask want to watch the free fireworks at Putrajaya or not?

At first Lin Peh didn't really feel like it but Apu said must go because long time we no celebrate the merdeka together liao. Last time during Merdeka time, our school got represent dunno what fuck and everyone go standing under hot sun for few days (teacher said it's call rehersal) and watch those chics from the Girls school and on the Merdeka day itself we will walk around like those communist military like that (teacher said it's call parade). Lin Peh still remember our class at that time represented by Malayu, Chinese, Bangkali and Indian so when we parade time it's like a big MACHIBAI marching! HAHAHA! Then I guess the gaoment realize the MACHIBAI sounds quite vulgar thats why they separate the marching to UMNO, MCA, MIC, Dan lain lain lagi ! Smart also huh ?

Anyway, Apu said not only got fireworks but he was also told that the gaoment also got send some gaoment DJ there to play the loud loud music like Hardcock Cafe like that. I said like that must go because sure got many horny chics wearing short short skirt and tight tight tops so Lin Peh can merdeka together with those hot chics. So I said ok and we meet at the mamak stall near his house there.

When Lin Peh arrive at the mamakstall about 5pm liddat, Apu already there drinking his teh tarik. I asked him so early go there for fuck meh because fireworks don't start so early wan; even during chinese new year also we waited until midnight only we burn the fire crackers. Apu said this one different because they got license to burn the fireworks so they can do it earlier, anyway, he said better go early because he expect many peeples will be there like Thaipusam like that, sure damn jam one.

The last time when Lin Peh go Putrajaya was to fetch a China Piaomei to go to the immigration office there to renew her Visa, Lin Peh still remember the place all the bulding big big, garden big big but no fucking place for parking wan! But that was long time ago already so I hope the place not so fucking condemn anymore.

Anyway, the gaoment actually got issue the notice tell peeple to take public transportation there but Apu said he searched everywhere also dunno what the gaoment means by public transport to Putrajaya. STAR LRT no go there, Putra LRT no go there, Monorail no go there, Metrobus also no go there and Taxi want to charge RM500 just to go there....so, Public lanjiao la !

So, we decided to drive there and see how la. Anyway, the drive was quite smooth because it's merdeka holiday and everyone so patriotik so stay home and watch PM, DPM and all the other M sing karaoke and wave flag on TV. By 630 like that, we already reach the exit to Putrajaya. Then, the car all stop..FUCKING JAM! So Jam like the entire highway has been transformed into a huge parking lot like that. Then, we saw some traffic police directing the "unmove" traffic. Wa lao eh, their face all damn condemn like 3 weeks constipate cannot shit like that. Actually, can't blame them also la because usually they one day see few cars at Putrajay but tonight KNN see so many cars and somemore the cars all cannot move one. Stand there ngong ngong, no kopi to drink, how to smile ?

Finally about 8pm liddat, we found the designated parking area for rakyat who are non VIP and walk there. KNN, I eat until so big, this is Lin Peh first time walking on the high way of Putrajaya with so many patriotik Malaysians who likes to watch free show. If we all together walk slow motion like that, it actually look like the scene from the Kevin Costner's "Untouchables" like that. Anyway, Lin Peh wonder who the fucker design the Putrajaya wan, along the road there got nothing, no shop, no house, no toilet, just grass. Want to make circus at least must put some clown, blow ballon and sell pop corn la! Tiu !

KNNCCB the walk is actually really damn far, somemore got drizzling like that. Lin Peh walk until underwear also wet. Then I asked Apu where are we walking to. He said to the place of the fireworks la. I said fuck la the fireworks they shoot so damn high even Serdang there can see we no need to walk there to see wan la. Anyway, walking is like part of Apu's culture like that, his father mother last time all build the road for JKR wan. He always brag to Lin Peh that his father mother built Jalan Tun Razak, Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman, Jalan Tun Ismail, Jalan Raja Laut etc but Lin Peh wonder why instead of having a Jalan Apu we only have Apu Jalan now! HAHAH! Anyway, he so used to walk and climb steps at Batu Cave, so walking is like drinking water only. Since everyone walk, we also follow and walk la. If not sekali they got free gift at the entrance there we will miss all that.

When we walk on the road, we realize how patriotik the Malaysian are. Cause so many peeples actually bring the flags along to go watch fireworks. Of course many of them also use the flag to multitasking and cover their head (just for info, use flags to cover head is allowed by law) when it was drizzling. I asked Apu why he no bring flag to cover head, he said the free flags sponsored by the Barison National at his area all sapu by the UMNO machai so he did not get any.

At 10pm like that, the fireworks finally started and you can hear all the patriotik Malaysians all ooh and ahh together! At that moment, you can see that everyone has forgotten their differences and united under one objective which is to enjoy free show provided by the gaoment! Anyway, standing near Lin Peh was this stupid Ah Lian who try to take pictures of the fireworks with her cheap handphone camera and then complain to her Ah Beng why the photos all come out black black one! If not for her big size Ah Beng, Lin Peh would have offer her my CANON SLR ! Damn long and big big and can do fireworks also wan ! HAHAHAH! Anyway, everyone there was really enjoying the fireworks because the boom-boom all damn pahwer ! Some can even make pattern pattern one. Wonder they can do one special Boom for Lin Peh's Olin product.

Anyway, after 20 minutes like that, the fireworks finished. The sky no longer bright bright but covered with smoke; the peeples no more ooh and ahh together instead everyone speaking their own language; but no matter what our background is, all of us share the same mission which is to get out of Putrajaya as soon as possible.

As we were walking back to our car, Apu suddenly asked me "You think they will have this for Deepavali?"

Tech Tags: Malaysia+International+Fireworks+Competition Merdeka Putrajaya Funny Humor Humour Fireworks

1957 vs 2007

2007-08-30T15:56:00.000+08:00

Academy Award for Best Picture
1957: Around the World in 80 Days
2007: Go Around KL in 80 Hours (Trafic Jam la)

Academy Award for Best Actor
1957: Alec Guinness (The Bridge on the River Kwai)
2007: Samy Vellu (The Bridge on the Sungai Siput)

Top Hit Single
1957: Great Balls of Fire
2007: Some Balls still on Fire

Broadway Musical Debut
1957: West Side Story
2007: Back Side Story

Most Popular Book
1957: From Russia with Love
2007: From Mongolia with Love

Most Popular Television Show in USA
1957: Gunsmoke
2007: Gun Still Got Smoke

New Technological Invention
1957: Ultrasound Scanning
2007: Ultraman Scanning

Best of All
1957: Malaysia Celebrate Merdeka
2007: Malaysia Still Celebrating Merdeka

Anyway, Happy 50th Birthday!

MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA!

Tech Tags: funny humor humour merdeka 1957 history

Engrish Doctor vs Chinese Loctor

2007-08-24T15:50:00.000+08:00

An American tourist went to China. While in China, he always go happy happy with Piaomei.

One week after he gone back to America, he found that his left testicle covered with green colour spots.

He got damn horrify! So, he immediately go see a Doctor.

The doctor was very surprise because he also never seen anything like this before. After some tests, he told the man that he has contracted a very rare disease called "Shangdong VD".

The doctor told the man "I'm sorry, there's no known cure for this rare disease. We have to cut off your left testicle". 2 hours later...his left testicle gone!

Three days later, the man found that his right testicle also covered with green colour spots!

He got more horrifier! So, he immediately goes to see the Doctor again. After some tests, he told the man: "I am sorry to tell you that the Shangdong VD has spread to your right testicle, there's no other way but to cut off your right testicle". 2 hours later...his right testicle also gone!

3 days later, the man found that his testicleless-penis also covered with green colour spots!

The man got really upset! So, he decided to go back to China to seek the treatment from the Chinese Loctor, figuring that Chinese Loctor probably know best about the Shangdong VD.

The Chinese Loctor examines his penis and said: "Oh, veli small ploblem, you no need worry, just change different brand underwear. The green color spot colour is from your underwear!"

Tech Tags: funny humor doctor VD medical

No Dancing in Kelantan

2007-08-22T12:01:00.000+08:00

A Kelantan couple, Ali and Siti, met up with the Menteri Besar, Nik, for counseling before their wedding.

Ali asks, "We realize it's a law in Kelantan that men can only dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like to seek your permission to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says Nik. "It's immoral! Men and women always dance separately!"

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"You are right! " answered Nik, "It's the law! It's forbidden in Kelantan."

"Well, okay," says Ali
"What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the Nik, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks Ali.

"No problem!" says Nik.

"Woman on top?" Ali asks.

"Sure," says Nik.

"Doggy style?"

"Sure!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes!"

"Can I do it with all my four wives together with a bottle of honey, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of ice and a porno video?"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No, absolutely not!" says Nik.

"Why not?" asks Ali.

"Because that could lead to dancing!!!"

Tech Tags: funny humor humour dancing kelantan

Malaysia Can Export Monkey Already

2007-08-20T10:49:00.000+08:00

According to The Star:

Natural Resources and Environment Minister Datuk Seri Azmi Khalid said the Cabinet, at its meeting on June 27, agreed to lift the ban to export monkeys found in urban areas as the public had complained of having foodstuff stolen and being attacked by the animals.

However, he gave an assurance that there would not be “total elimination” of the long-tailed macaque from city areas and they would still be allowed to roam around as long as the numbers were “ideal.”

According the Lin Peh, many of the meeting-meetings in the country will have to be cancelled after exporting all the monkeys because not enough quorum la.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tech Tags: monkey export malaysia funny humour humor

Dating With Different Type of Chics

2007-08-17T10:06:00.000+08:00

Many peeple been asking Lin Pehto teach them the Art of Dating. So, today Lin Peh will give you a summary about what you should expect when dating with chis from different race.

CHINESE PIAOMEI

First date
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Again, Nothing Happens!

Third date
You usually don't get up to third date beacuse you are smart enough to realize that nothing is ever going to happen.

INDIAN MINACHI

First date
Meet her parents.

Second date
Set the date of the wedding.

Third date
Wedding night.

MALAY MINAH

First date
You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date
You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third Date
She moves in.
One week later, her father, , her 4 mother, her 18 sisters, her 20 brothers, all of their kids, her 16 grandmas, her father's girlfriend's mother, her 268 cousins all move in.

But don't worry you can repeat this 4 times. ;-)

WHITE MARY

First Date
You both get fucking drunk and have sex.

Second Date
You both get fucking drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary
You both get fucking drunk and have sex.

ARAB AL-SADAM DAUGHTER

First Date
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds out.

Second Date
You are shot dead.

Third date
Not Applicable

New Dress Code

2007-08-14T15:42:00.000+08:00

Recently, Universiti Utara Malaysia (UUM) imposed a new dress code for all the students. The dresscoode can be seen here:

More infor can also be found at Kampua Talk

According to The Star, UUM deputy vice-chancellor (Student Affairs and Alumni) Assoc Prof Dr Ahmad Faiz Hamid said that the students must abide by the dress code which does not allow the wearing of revealing clothes.

“The university does not make any ruling that discriminates any race. The rulings that we make are in the best interest of students, regardless of race or religion,” he said.

In conjunction with that, the very fehmes Lin Cocka Wingz University also imposed its new dress code which can be seen here:

The Senior Vice-chancellor (Student and Alumni Secret Love Affairs) Ass Professor Dr Cocka said that all the students must abide by the dress code which is in line with their studies.

“The university does not make any ruling that discriminates any race. The rulings that we make are in the best interest of proffessors, staffs, students, regardless of race or national origin. That means all the students from Piaomei and Yamade country also must follow” he said.

Tech Tags: funny humor humour dress+code UUM University+Utara+Malaysia

Olin iWallop - Merdeka Edition

2007-08-08T11:13:00.000+08:00

In conjunction with our August celebration, Olin will be presenting to you the limited edition of

iWallop - Merdeka Edition

Instead of powered by the normal Kawasaki 70cc Kapchai engine, this special limited edition iWALLOP will be powered by the Proton Gila engine which has the power to go 200km/hour in less than 20 second, therefore you can be assured of the best walloping in your life! This special Merdeka Edition makes a wide variety of positions possible, but the most unqiue part is the adjustable natural movements of the seats.

This edition is specifically designed to suit lazy people who does not like to work and yet want to enjoy and those who overweight from eating too much nasi lemak or minum too much Kopi-O. In short, its purpose is damn 9 very meaningful for a country celebrating its 50th Anniversary!

For the first 100 customers, we will deliver the iWallop - Merdeka Edition at your location and install it for you. For the first 100 piaomei who purchase it, Lin Peh will personally teach you how to use it! FREE OF CHARGE !!!

Since the seats are made of special dunno what skin fabric, cleaning the Chair is easy but we don't think you will be cleaning it so often as it will be in used most of the time.

This special edition is equiped with 2 control istead of one. Using the right side controls (if you are sitting on the big seat) you can select to manual set the movement or choose between different automatic programs. You can also select clockwise or anti clockwise movement, and set the speed of the movement.

The left control is for you to lift or lower the big seat. You can select back and forward movement, and set the speed of the movement. One of the main features is the vibration of the big seat. This vibration is also controlled here. Bare in mind that the top speed is 200km/hour so please set only to the speed that you can handle. Olin will not be responsible for any damage done to your organs.

Here are some of the recommended positions that you can perform:

However, we at Olin are sure you can create even more positions with your humsap mind! With Olin iWallop - Merdeka Edition, The limit is your imagination!

Another Great Produck by:

Tech Tags: Humor Humour Funny Adult+Toy

Want to be a Millionaire ?

2007-08-07T15:21:00.001+08:00

The host of

Joined MCA

Tech Tags: funny humor humour victor+gu who+wants+to+be+a+millionaire mca

Latest in Blog Advertising - Lafflin

2007-08-01T16:28:00.000+08:00

Lin Peh just launched the latest and greatest Blog Advertising Community - Lafflin. Unlike all the other blog advertising companies, Lafflin requires no prior registration, no prior approval and accept all the blogs that are deems to be racist, sexually explicit, religious fanatics, and all the condemn gaoment blogs that no one else will even want to be affiliated with.

Objective of lafflin:
To create an opportunity for bloggers in an unique and simplicity with excitements, perseverance and creeds to success with eyes for detail, plus an open mind to all possibilities with considerations.

What do you need to do:

Very simple, just put a link at your blog to http://tok3tok4.blospot.com. Unlike other blog ad companies that request you to put their link high high at prominent location, lafflin don't give a fuck about where you put the link, location is not our priority! In addition, the description of the link can be anything also but here are some suggestions if you need some good ideas:

For Female Bloggers:
Piao Ker Lin Peh
Lin Peh Leng Chai
Lin Peh Kor Kor

For Male Bloggers:
Lin Peh Tai Kor
Lin Peh Tai Lou
Best Blogger in Town

How the system work:
You will be paid according to the visitor stat to your blog. However, because lafflin's stat counter damn kao pahwer one so you no need to install any script into your blog thus you no need to be afraid of any spyware, skyware or underwear embedded in your blog. From time to time, lafflin will sukak sukak send you a report about the stats. Please bare in mind that lafflin has the best stat counter in the entire universe because it is a state of art engine created using Sumatra language one and the results may be different from those generated by other stat counters which uses the Java language. In the event if you start questioning lafflin punya stat counter, lafflin will shoot you with a standard letter, tell you that lafflin stat counter is the most pahwer and aat the same time ask you to shut the fuck up and fuck yourself provided that your lanjiao is long enough.

How do we compute your earning:
Your earning is based solely on lafflin's discreetion one. Sometimes, it will be based on the number of visitors to your blog, sometimes based on number of clicks but most of the time, it's base on how much lafflin feel like giving out. So, don't be surprise that you have 1,000 unique visitors per day but get paid like 10 cent only because nothing is impossible at lafflin. Like that you can be assured that lafflin won't go chap lap and we can do business foreever!

How will you be paid:
Lafflin's finance department is headed by the damn famous prince from Africa - Prince Ngongngongsorhai. He will send you an email when your accumulated earning reach about USD 30 million. His email will generally have the title "Congratulation" or "Urgent". In his email, he will ask for your bank account number and after you reveal your account number to him, he will guide you through the entire process on how to get your money.

How does lafflin make money:
Do you really care ?

How does lafflin compete with other Blog Ad companies:
Lafflin no compete wan. NO FIGHT LA ! Mo Tak Teng!

Who is behind lafflin:
Lafflin is owned and marketed by Lafflin Very Limited Corporation (a subsidiary of Olin) and a group of distress and half-dead bloggers who have been actively contribute and consult the Lafflin Team with their damn fucking ideas.

Tech Tags: humor humour blog+advertising funny

Bini vs Piaomei

2007-07-24T18:08:00.000+08:00

Bini is like a TV;
Piaomei is like handphone

At home watch TV;
Go out bring handhphone.

No money sell TV;
Got money change handphone.

Sometimes enjoy TV;
Most of the time play with handphone.

TV free for life but handphone?
If you don't pay, services will be terminated!!!

Tech Tags: wife girlfriend galfriend humor humour funny piaomei

Want to Fight Ah ?

2007-07-21T14:22:00.000+08:00

In response to the news of Kerishamudin asking MCA to shut up:

Tech Tags: kung+fu martial+art fight MCA UMNO Humour Humour funny

Facts Only Please, Rumor Not Allowed

2007-07-16T11:01:00.000+08:00

Johari Baharum, Deputy Miniter of Internal Security, had instructed the Commercial Crimes Department to investigate and trace those writers who spread lies through websites. He said, "The police must act to prevent them from tarnishing the image of the country".

Don't say Lin Peh no warning you all. From now on please post only facts and not rumor.OK ? To learn the proper way of posting, you may refer to Lin Peh's earlier post on Be a Netsponsible Blogger!

So, Lin Peh today will tell you something true. Very true one. Not rumor hearsay one:

Malaysia Lost to China 1-5 in the Asia Cup Football.

Yes, Malaysia Lost to China 1-5 at home, at Bukit Jalil, in front of own crowd.

It's a fact that Malaysia has conceived 5 goals, the most number of goals conceived in a single match in this Asia Cup.

Malaysia Lost to Uzbekistan 0-5 in the Asia Cup Football.

Yes, Malaysia Lost to Uzbekistan 0-5 at home, at Bukit Jalil, in front of own crowd.

It's a fact that Malaysia has conceived 5 goals again! Matching their own record as the most number of goals conceived in a single match in this Asia Cup.

True one la. Not rumor one.

Tech Tags: malaysia Uzbekistan China Asia Cup Football

Learn Hokkien

2007-07-13T15:45:00.000+08:00

Lin Peh found a very good hokkien teacher recently. The teacher has simplified the learning of hokkien language in the following manner:

Hope it helps.

Tech Tags: funny humor humour hokkien

Seven Wonders of Malaysia

2007-07-12T15:28:00.000+08:00

1. Wonder why our rivers all looked like instant coffee after millions have been spent cleaning them up annually.

2. Wonder why still got so many fucking Mat Rempit on the road when Metro Bus already killed off so many of them.

3. Wonder why the zakar-ria (happy balls) massion still standing there after confirmed that it was built illegally.

4. Wonder why our university ranking so damn bloody low when our students all so damn clever scoring so many As every year.

5. Wonder what is the actual percentage of Malaysian corporate equity owned by the bumiputeras.

7. Wonder where the fuck this fella go to school one.

Updated:

There was a hidden message in this post. Humhai Wuching was the first one to realized it but did not pursue further. Subsequently Tiuniasing got it right! Anyway, credit must also goes to Chibye Huei and Lanjiao Pisang for the contribution. Great job ! ;-)

Tech Tags: malaysia seven-wonder humor humour funny

Space Misssion 102 - The Panic Button

2007-07-03T15:08:00.000+08:00

After many people condemn kao the Space Mission 101 by Lin Peh, today Lin Peh will continue the Mini Series by toking about "Space Mission 102 - The Panic Button"

Inside every spaceship, there is always a panic button one. But the Russian may not teach our astronaut on "when" to press the panic button because the Russian also want face mah; they will probably tell our astronaut "потревожьтесь, вы не идите оно!" (which means "Don't worry, you won't need it!").

So, in this Space Mission 102, Lin Peh will tok about when to PRESS the PANIC BUTTON:

1. When the spaceship behind you keep flashing High Beam!

2. When the captain announce "We're cruising at an altitude of 30 meter"

3. When you see the co-captain sitting on the captain's lap.

4. The captain yells "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" during the take off !

5. You realize the entire crew all wearing Pizza Hut Delivery uniform.

6. You recognize the captain as the same Mat Rempit who race with you at NKVE!

7. The captain keep asking the control tower "Mommy, can still see our spaceship?"

8. You see the captain busy shredding financial records of TRANSMILE before the take off.

9. The captain announce that "This is a NO FRILLS flight".

10. Last but not least - Run for your live if you see her in the same flight:

Tech Tags: space+program russia malaysia spaceship secret funny humour humor panic

Yumiko Drop Again !

2007-07-02T10:38:00.000+08:00

The popular Hong Kong singer/actress Yumiko Cheng Hei-Yi (鄭希怡), who lost her pants last year on live TV show does it again! This time, she drop her top ( a bit only la) during a concert! Even tho it was onlyt a bit, it was enough to show her brownish nipple! As usual, since Lin Peh always like to share nice thing with all my mah-latt-lou readers, Lin Peh went on a net-hunt and found the footage (again...hehehe)!

Lin Peh quite sure the footage will be removed in just a matter of time so don't blame me if you cum late !

In case you cum late, or you have fucked up internet connection, here are 2 closer-up shots for you to TFK! ;-)

Tech Tags: humor humour funny Yumiko+Cheng Exposed

MP or GT Girls ?

2007-06-28T10:33:00.000+08:00

According to the report at THE STAR paper today, 2 sorhai MPs from the Barisan Nasional condemned the models of the GT Gals who were in Malaysia recently for the Super GT International Series.

Hasni Mohamad asked whether the Youth and Sports Ministry had ignored reminding the organiser of the Super GT International Series about the dress code for the Japanese models taking part in the event.

Whereas Mohamed Aziz asked why the authorities seemed to be reluctant to take action against foreigners when they committed offences in the country. He somemore asked "Do all men like to look at naked women? There may be some men who like to watch. But are the authorities afraid to take action against foreigners?".

So, Lin Peh like to do a survey now.

Do you like to look at

A) Hasni Mohamad

B) Mohamed Aziz

C)The GT Gals !

Please make you choice carefully as it may affect the outcum of the next general erection !

HAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Tech Tags: GT model girls humor humour malaysia funny

Space Mission 101

2007-06-25T10:35:00.001+08:00

As part of the celebration of the 50th birthday of the country, Malaysia will be sending its first man to the outer space. So, as a good Malaysian blogger, Lin Peh will be doing a series of Space Mission Posts to show support that the Spirit of Malaysia Boleh will be going up the sky!

In case you don't know, the Malaysian astronaut is trained under the "Russian Space Program" one. And we all know that the Russian will be holding back a lot of classified information from our astronaut because the Russian also scared that if we learn too much, we may end up ~~joint venture with Volks Wagon~~ becoming their competitor.

So, after Lin Peh's extensive research, Lin Peh manage to compile a list of things that the Russian WIll NOT be telling our astronaut. Here is the list:

1) They don't play "Cemerlang, Gemilang, Terbilang" in their inflight entertainment.

2) They don't serve Nasi Lemak on board.

3) When you don't follow the instruction of the captain, he will kick-dance your kkc.

4) Russian spaceship is powered by VODKA!

5) Due to the Russian slang, when the captain shouted "Prepare for rear-entry" he actually means "Prepare for re-entry"!

6) You can access "tok3tok4.blogspot.com" on the spaceship computer system!

7) The complimentary copy of the in-flight magazine does not have the "Visit Malaysia Year" advertisement!

8) No matter how close you fly to the MEASAT Satellite, you still can't get free Astro Channels!

9) In the event of leaking in the spaceship, never say "Putra Jaya, we have a problem!"

10) Due to the effects of zero gravity, you will have constant Erection while you are in the SPACE !

Tech Tags: space+program russia spaceship secret funny humour humor

Screen Cleaner

2007-06-22T12:33:00.000+08:00

You probably don't realize it, but your computer's Screen must be cleaned each day especially after surfing all the porno sites !

Not only that your screen need to be cleaned from outside but the cleaning on the inside of the screen is also very important before your monitor explode! Lin Peh know it is very difficult to do that's why Lin Peh is now giving you a FREE DEVICE that will do the trick. Just move the mouse around the following picture and your screen will be cleaned from the inside.

Flash" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="420" height="320">

Clean already or not ? So, make sure cum Lin Peh site and get your computer screen cleaned everyday! It's Free Wan ! No Need to Pay Wan !

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tech Tags: screen+cleaner glass+cleaner nipple breast funny humor humour adult

T-Shirt to Support Lin Peh

2007-06-20T12:01:00.000+08:00

Nowadays, everything also talk about packaging. Even during the on going trail of the high profile Mongolian case the family and friends of the accused Abdul Razak Baginda also came out with T-shirts to show their support.

After seeing what they have done, Lin Peh also starting to come out with some T-shirt for those potential supporters of Lin Peh in case Lin Peh also have to go to court.

So, here are the sample that Lin Peh have came out with:

Tech Tags: t-shirt abdul+razak+baginda mongolian

Create A Life, Donate Sperm

2007-06-19T15:12:00.000+08:00

Many of you are familiar with the non-stop blood donation drive and Lin Peh really respect those of you who always participate in it. Lin Peh know some of you donate until face green green but still do it cause it's a very good thing to save life. Surely next time go heaven also express lane, no immigration checkpoint wan!

Anyway, Lin Peh will be organising a charity event entitle "Create a Life, Donate Sperm" for all my humsap readers soon. And this is how it will be done:

p.s. The sperm donated will be kept in the fixed deposit of National Sperm Bank until it generate enough interest ! HAHAHAH!

Tech Tags: sperm+donation humor humour funny

India To Hold F-1 Race Starting 2009

2007-06-15T13:21:00.000+08:00

India here we cum !

Tech Tags: funny humour humor formula+one F1 delhi india

Happy Father's Day

2007-06-13T11:26:00.000+08:00

Tech Tags: humor humour funny condom advertisement father's+day

Wah ! The Snake Very Big !

2007-06-11T11:06:00.011+08:00

You say this snake big or not ?

Very big leh?

Big or not?

Confirm or not?

Tech Tags: snake humour humor funny nude upskirt

Samy Write Poem ?

2007-06-08T17:55:00.000+08:00

Today, bernama reported that work minister Samy Vellu has penned a poem for the wedding of Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi and Jeanne Abdullah and the Poem goes like this:

From this day forward,
You shall not walk alone.
Her heart will be your shelter,
And her arms will be your home.

A mountain needs a valley to be complete;
the valley does not make
the mountain less, but more;
and the valley is more a valley because
it has a mountain towering over it.

As you all know, Lin Peh is damn good in research one. And guess what ? Lin Peh found a poem entitle "From this day forward" here. It is exactly the same as first part of Samy's poem! UPDATE: and the second part of his poem with all the valley valley one from Blessing For A Marriage by James Dillet Freeman

Lanjiao la ! Word by word! and Samy somemore said he wrote one ?

This is called CHEATING OK?

If this thing happened during the 3-kingdom time in China, Samy head will be chop for Lying ! Not only his head, his whole family also all chop !

KNNBCCB! Next time want copy also don't copy from internet la ! Copy from those write on the wall on toilet wan easier la. But make sure you rub it off after copy. Or if you really so never go school, ask Lin Peh write one for you la ! Here is goes:

Bila PM Ada Bini
Samy Memang Suka Hati
Pasal PM akan Busy
Dengan Bini Baru Ini

Samy Boleh Minum Kopi
Boleh Jugak Makan Roti
Kasi Naik Toll Tinggi Tinggi
PM Sibuk Tak Akan Peduli

Write Poem ? NAAAAHHHH! Lanjiao la !

Congratulation

2007-06-06T16:41:00.000+08:00

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has announced he will marry Jeanne Abdullah, 53, in a private ceremony in Seri Perdana on Saturday, June 9.

Congratulation!!

One Day in The News

2007-06-05T16:46:00.000+08:00

USA

President Bush's European trip was jarred as it began Monday by deteriorating relations with Russia and threatening words from President Vladimir Putin. In a diplomatic poke in the eye at Putin, Bush started the European trip with stops in the Czech Republic and Poland — the two countries where the United States wants to build a missile defense system for Europe.

Russia

President Vladimir Putin's warning that Russia would aim missiles at Europe if Washington pursued its plan to build a missile defence shield near Russian borders

China

Chinese President Hu Jintao will present China's propositions on climate change at the upcoming outreach session of the G-8 Summit,

Singapore

Ties between Singapore and Kuwait are set to grow in culture and information as special agreements were signed on Monday to kick-start exchange programmes in the arts, TV, radio and press. One particular deal sees Kuwait, Singapore and India co-investing in a US$110 million petrochemical plant in Singapore.

Back Home in Malaysia

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi Monday rapped some government employees for not being able to sing the "Cemerlang, Gemilang, Terbilang" national song.

Tech Tags: Humor Humour Funny News Malaysia China USA Singapore Russia

Malaysia on USA News !

2007-06-04T12:38:00.000+08:00

It seems that Malaysia nowadays very BOLEH even the Chinese TV Station in USA got news coverage on Malaysia!

According to the news, an officer in charge of passport renewal at the Malaysia Consulate General In New York was reportedly estorting from those Malaysian who were renewing their passport.

Here is the news clip:

Malaysian Boleh!

Tech Tags: malaysia new+york TV news harassed

Olin iWallop

2007-05-31T15:34:00.000+08:00

For this summer season, OLIN is proud to present to you its 2007 summer collection:

iWallop

Powered by the Kawasaki 70cc Kapchai engine, iWALLOP has the power to go 100km/hour in less than 30 second, therefore you can be assured of the best walloping in your life!

The multi-speed function of the iWALLOP can be manually adjust to suit your need and the special design of the iWALLOP is the result of our extensive research. All these are well tought out by our R&D department to ensure that your performance can be enhanced with iWALLOP.

As you can imagine with your humsap dirty mind, the result is very powerful one! With this new product, many couple will be living happily ever after. Here's the promo video of OLIN iWALLOP:

Another Great Produck by:

Tech Tags: Humor Humour Funny Adult+Toy

Why the local banks are so afraid of foreign banks?

2007-05-25T12:18:00.000+08:00

You want to know why our local banks are so afraid of the foreign banks? Just look at this advertisement by Shanghai Bank:

"Let Shanghai Bank Manage Your Finance. Bring PUKI home"

You see, they understand the customer so well. When you let them manage your finance, they offer you a series of limited edition PUKI for you to take home! Wa lao eh, got "Active PUKI", "Popular PUKI", Smiling PUKI", "Shy PUKI" and last but not least...."Naughty PUKI" !

Common la Malaysia Bank! To stay competitive, please offer your PUKI to your customers la !

WE WANT PUKI ! WE WANT PUKI ! WE WANT PUKI !

Tech Tags: humor humour funny bank malaysia shanghai china puki

Freedom

2007-05-23T10:48:00.000+08:00

"Bloggers must not abuse the freedom given by the government and must be responsible in their writings and actions so as not to jeopardise the unity among the people" Information Minister Datuk Seri Zainuddin Maidin

"Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God and nature." Benjamin Franklin

Top 10 Similarities between Malaysia and USA

2007-05-21T12:08:00.000+08:00

No. 10
America - Flag got Red and White Stripes

Malaysia - Flag also got Red and White Stripes

No. 9
America - Play football without using foot

Malaysian - National football team also play football without using foot

No. 8
America - Legalized racist organisation Ku Klux Klan

Malaysia - Legalized racist organisation Maybank

No. 7
America - No 1 Car Maker is General Motor

Malaysia - Trying to sell its No 1 Car Maker to General Motor

No. 6
America - Speed Limit of High Way is 55

Malaysia - IQ of the person in charge of High Way is 55

No. 5
America - Dick very long as shown on porno movie

Malaysia - Keris very long as shown on national TV

No. 4
America - National Disaster is Katrina

Malaysia - National Disaster is Rafidah

No. 3
America - No.1 unsolved mystery is John F. Kennedy assasination

Malaysia - No.1 unsolved mystery is Mykad lucky draw cancellation

No. 2
America - Gaoment spent millions to build the nation

Malaysia - Gaoment spent millions during by-election

And the No. 1 similarity between Malaysia and America is
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
America - Worry most about North Korea

Malaysia - Worry most about Mongolia

Tech Tags: malaysia USA america funny humor humour politics

United We Stand !

2007-05-15T11:22:00.000+08:00

The Football Association of Malaysia has decided to ignore the order of Asian Football Confederation (AFC) and go ahead with the Manchester United trip to Malaysia during the Asia Cup. However, the FAM’s defiance of this AFC ruling could put the national governing body in the line of fire. So, why do you think FAM is taking such a risk? Here is what Lin Peh think:

1) What kind of repercussions from the AFC are we expecting ?
Suspense us from World Cup and Olympic? HAHAHAH! Ask them to do their homework la. It makes no difference one !

2) The Match Will Not Affect Malaysia Team Performance at the Asia Cup.
Even though the MU match will be played on July 27 which is two days before the Asian Cup final, all the Malaysian rakyat agree with the FAM that we are very confident that it will not affect the Malaysian team. Because non of us expect Malaysia to make it to the final. HAHAHAH!

3) This match is part of the Celebration of 50th anniversary of our Independence.
In other part of the world, their national day celebration is the day for them to parade their military power and sometimes even nuclear warhead. However, being such a peace loving country, we have decided to parade something that the entire country is so pround of after 50 years of independence - Manchester United! Even Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi had said last Friday that he wanted the United match here to kick off as scheduled.

4) Manchester United is actually the national football team of Malaysia.
How often do you see this logo at the bumper of Malaysia's car ?

Quite often, right ?

How often do you see this ?

Almost never! Right ? HAHAHAH!

So, Lin Peh not surprise with the FAM decision. Are you ?

United We Stand!
Another Projeck by the Malaysia Boleh Gaoment

Tech Tags: malaysia football humor humour funny manchester+united independence+celebration

We Live in Singapura - MTV

2007-05-10T16:18:00.000+08:00

A while ago Lin Peh did a post on Talking Cock in Parliment by Hossan Leong and everyone like it very much.

Today Lin Peh found someone has made an MTV for the song (WITH LYRICS SOMEMORE!!!) entitled - We Live in Singapura. So got good thing must share la!

Here is the KALAOKE MTV! ENJOY !

Tech Tags: funny humor humour singapore singapura hossan+leong mtv

Lin Peh Never Dies

2007-05-09T12:17:00.000+08:00

Tiu! 10 days liddat no post and some of you thought Lin Peh die already. Got 3 hai peeple even blog about Lin Peh missing! In case you think Lin Peh bluff 9 you all, you can see it for yourself at:

HumHai Aceone
Sor Hai Toudai
Kao Hai Frostier

If you look at the commments at the posts above, seems like many peeple think Lin Peh kena kidnap by piaomei or laying in the hospital getting treatment for sexual desease ! CHOY !

Anyway, Lin Peh is back and you no need to worry about finding Lin Peh's dead body on the front page of China Press or seeing the Mug Shot of Lin Peh at the obituary section of Malay Mail, at least not for the time being !

Why ? Because LIN PEH NEVER DIES!

Reasons Lin Peh Never Dies are:

1. Lin Peh No Beat Up Peeple
OK la. Lin Peh actually got beat peeple up but those peeple are usually small small size one. Also, when Lin Peh beat them up, they sure die and no chance to revenge! ;-)

2. Lin Peh No Offend Aunty
Unlike Wingz who likes to offend aunty-aunty and their affiliates for entertainment purposes, Lin Peh LOVE aunties! So, you don't need to worry that aunty-aunty will come with their Broom Gang to wack kao Lin Peh for no reason ;-) Aunty Man Shui !

3. Lin Peh Practice Safe Sex
Before any unsafe sex, Lin Peh always think to myself what the kids will look like. You may get some idea here.

So, for those of you who were hoping that Lin Peh is dead, sorry to disappoint you ;-) For the rest, Lin Peh tank Q you very much for the concern and Lin Peh like to share with you a very nice picture here:

TANK Q U !

Tech Tags: missing+person funny humor humour